Finally, I have confirmed the appointment with Syed, my friend, who had always been my mentor, career wise. This is my first step towards my decision to take charge of my professional career, thus, my life. Although he is my friend, being my 'worrier' self - as I worry about every single thing in life - I'm very nervous.
I'm worried about 'how to go-about doing it', I worry about telling 'her' about my decision!!... I'm worried about the timing... I'm worried about the financing...... Yet I keep telling myself, I need to think positive!!
On the outlook, people have always thought and commented that I appear confident and so terribly sure of myself. Well, they do not have any idea of the turmoil that goes inside of me!!... My panic attacks, that Insya Allah, I have now learned to control, as I have a greater mission in life, ie to provide a better life for my children...
I suppose I could say that I am going through the cross roads of my life, whereby I refuse to tolerate taking instructions from 'the boss', like I was a kid..... Occasionally, I think about the 'what would have been' if I had persevered in the network marketing business, and whether I am cut out for it.... The problem is, I have trouble in believing in myself.... Then again, I think my mentors in the business are not doing so well at the moment.... There you go, negative thoughts again!!!
Whatever it is, I do look forward to my meeting tomorrow..... and I do need to pat myself on the back for taking the little step towards taking control of my career...... Will update on the outcome later.... Cheers for now...
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