Time Flies....

I've been pretty busy lately, even too busy to think and focus on my goals, my decision....

Bottom line ..... time really flies..... especially when we are so disorientated, .... and part of the ..."wondering generality"... who just keep wondering... about nothing.... I so really, really want to avoid being that... if that makes sense at all.....

I wish not to live a life of regrets... And given the chance to re-do my life... or re-live my life.. I most probably will not do things differently... As whatever that I have faced, I have failed, I have succeeded.... made me what I am today.....

That does not stop me from realizing that time really, really flies sooo quickly. It seems only like it was yesterday that Miwaa was drooling down her bib, jumping up and down her 'tippy toes', goo-gooing as I fed her while talking to her.... Now, she's a teenager, who hardly wants to be "seen" with her parents, as "it isn't cool!!!". She's more contented to be hiding in her room, doing her own stuff or messaging her friends.......

It was also not long ago that I used to be worried that Adeil may be "handicapped", as he never ever crawled as a baby, but moved around in a sitting position, dragging his butt on the floor!!!!! It was also just like it was yesterday when he refused to speak!!!...but made single syllable noise instead!!!.....

They are simply 'perfect' kids now.... that time just flies by.....

They would always be my babies.... (I keep telling them that)...... Even when they are married with kids!!!!

Never Forget.... At Least I Need To Remind Myself!!

I thought I should pen my thoughts today on the lucrative job/business offer that my other half was given by his soon to be boss/partner. He shall be made the COO of the company, with also a director title, with some shares too........

I wouldn't want to be the negative one... though envious I am.... You see, at least for once in his life, he would get the chance to implement his ideas.... He has always had a visionary mind, my other half, but lacked the motivation to persevere to materialize his brilliant ideas... Often, before we knew it, the ingenious ideas would eventually be implemented by somebody else, a politician of some sort......

I pray that with this new found vehicle, he is able to gain the confidence, motivation and zest to realize his visions.....

I had always previously been the career minded and aggressive half, while he has always been the supportive one... More contented to be the one at home, to be with the children. I have always been the majority bread winner for the family.... Things are now finally changing...

Last night he said to me......

" I must have done something right... to get offered this....... I'll be the only one of our kind to be in the upper inner circle of the organization..."

" Yes, you must have......" I replied, for he has always been the caring one, the giver....not me....

"But don't forget to be thankful, as everything comes from Him.... Never forget.........Please..."

Silently he nodded.... realizing the truth...

So every day, I wake up, I need to remind myself that I'm so blessed, I'm so grateful and thankful.... I must never forget that.....

Working Hard.... But Am I Working Smart????

Hahaha... That's what I'm thinking myself.... For many years I have worked and imagined that the company as my own... But is it?.... The intention of the management was to make me feel like it is...... so that I work harder... and harder.... pour out my heart and soul to the job... and for what????... for these:
1. Authority.... Yes, that I seem to have over a substantial portion of the organisation.
2. Respect..... Yes, as they all think I am Boss No. 2!!!!
3. Money.... Hahahahahah.... what was it again?????.... Nope... I don't think I have that... Not as much as I know I am worth...
4. Time.... NOT AT ALL.....

Yes, as days go by, I get nervous thinking about 'My Decision', which ultimately, to be fair to myself, I MUST GO THROUGH WITH!!!

What makes me so nervous I keep asking myself?.... Perfectionist.... That's it!!!!... That's the whole problem. So what happens is in the end, we start making excuses for ourselves, the negativities set in......

"The business blood doesn't run in my family...."

"My parents were both government servants... How on earth am I.... their offspring, ever going to learn to be my own boss?"

...Craps like the above keep creeping into my mind...RUBBISH!!! It's all rubbish!!

....Hmmmm, at least I've pen down what needs to be vommitted out..... I can now get to work... As there's a light at the end of the tunnel.......

I'm Back!!!

Yippeee!!.. I managed to find the time to blog in.... Well, at least it's a fresh consistent start for me...

Today, I would like to reflect on how proud I am to be a parent to 2 wonderful children..... They have grown a lot taller than the last time I posted.... Obviously...

Well, for a start, they are both taller than ME!!!!!...... Miwaa now 14 (in 10 days!!!) , Adeil soon will be 11.....

Adeil is now learning to play the guitar.... Only last night he was telling me how he looks forward to each and every class that he has... "Every time Mommy... Every time I look forward to the class..." Tomorrow would be the second class that he actually learns to play the electric guitar....

Just like when he was a baby...( He's still my baby)... He asks about when he is getting a new...electric guitar...every single day...

Miwaa on the other hand aspires to be Vanessa Mae... she learns the violin now.... Her goal this year is to learn 3 musical instruments.... Violin,.... Guitar (baby brother as the teacher).... Piano..... I support her all the way......

I am taking one small step each day towards MY DECISION.... (something I have to keep reminding myself, so that I don't lose focus)... Meeting Syed tonight to discuss my options....

INSYA ALLAH......

ALHAMDULILLAH for all the rezeki you have showered my family and I.... I'm so blessed....

MY DECISION

Hi Blog... I haven't written in awhile for the following reasons:
1. I did not see the fun in blogging...haha.
2. Not being computer savvy myself, I couldn't locate my own blog...

So, time flies.

Good news is... I set for my architectural professional exams in 2007, and passed... Yippeee!! So... What next. For awhile, I didn't know... I just went with the flow, not taking up very much challenges in my life, just drifting... to no where.... Somehow, I must have been rather complacent...

Yet today, I was struck by the urge to take control of my life, to plan it far....

I have decided that I would go on my own, taking the bull by its horns and facing the challenge... I'm now planning my exit, my triumph, yet I know it would mean a lot of hard work, a lot of despair and frustration.... But, I've been through it as an employee, I can go through it as a business owner.....

I am now doing my ground work... Will go home and set my strategies, look at my options...

Hmmm... Looks like I shall pen in a lot more than I used to... So my dear blog... Just Listen In....